When Saying ‘No’ Becomes Harder Than Murder: The Alarming Rise of Relationship Killings in India

Rajkumari Sharma Tankha

The recent, tragic death of Ketan Agarwal at the hands of his fiancé is deeply concerning. More so, as this is not an isolated case – it is one of such cases that seems to be on the rise since some years.

Who can forget the gruesome Shraddha Walkar murder case (2022) – Shraddha was brutally killed by her live-in partner; the Nikki Yadav case (2023) – Nikki was killed by her boyfriend shortly before he married another girl. Then there is Saurabh Rajput case (2025) of Meerut – his wife conspired to kill him.

Aren’t these kinds of murders becoming sort of trend? – An inhuman, despicable and disturbing trend that unsettles the very the core of the soul.

Young people are killing their romantic partners, spouses, or fiancés – before or soon after the marriage – just to be with the person of their choice. My question is: Why are they finding violent, deceitful endings as safer options than confronting the reality honestly.

I mean if you are already in a relationship, why enter into another one forcibly? Why can’t you say “no,”? Why can’t you stand up to your family? I wonder if it’s actually family pressure or social expectations or one’s own personal fears? Why chose deception over truth?

When so many cases happen, and keep happening repeatedly, it is no longer about one individual crime. It is about our society. And, where are we heading to?

What is particularly unsettling is that such crimes are no longer confined to men – more and more women are indulging in these. And we cannot condone these acts by saying women are retaliating since historically they have been more frequent victims of intimate partner violence!

No is not such a tough thing

If a person is already in love with someone else, why agree to marry another person? Why enter into a new relationship – only to kill an innocent life, destroy another family? What’s the point? Is saying NO such a tough thing? It isn’t.

I feel it is not saying NO, but what comes after a NO is what youngsters cannot handle –accountability. A generation that has unprecedented access to information, education, and communication seems pathetically unequipped to handle rejection, disagreement, and emotional setbacks. SO, they seek short-cuts!

Why seek shortcuts? And is it really the shortcut to a happily ever after? Do the killers really think they will never be caught? With so much of technological advancements – digital footprints, CCTV cameras, mobile location data, financial records, and forensic science – it is not easy to conceal a crime. You cannot just eliminate a person, erase the evidence and go enjoy life.

And that brings us to familial upbringing.

Surely, when the killings no more remain random, when these are pre-meditated, when the numbers keep rising irrespective of the financial or social status of a person, it points a finger to parenting. Like it or not, this is not just a simple law-and-order problem. It is a parenting problem, an education problem, and a societal problem.

Parents these days shield their children from failure, disappointment, and difficult conversations. Totally focussed on academic success, they neglect the emotional and social quotient of their child. The result is kids with high academic scores but very poor in handling relationships.

Schools are to blame too. They too focus of marks, there is no time to teach conflict resolution, emotional regulation, empathy, or ethical decision-making. As a result, children are learning how to score marks, get into good colleges and jobs but not life. They are not equipped to cope work pressures or relationship issues. So, when faced with complex situations involving love, family expectations, social image, or personal desires, they are at their wits end, and try to find ‘easy ways’.

So, what’s the way out

Parents must introspect. They must not insist on having the last word when it comes to the marriage of their children. Many young people fear disappointing their parents more than they fear living a lie.

Kids feel trapped between their parents’ expectations Vs their wants. And those who cannot manage these conflicts peacefully, choose violence.

It is the job of parents and the teachers as well to teach kids that honesty is not weakness. Saying “NO” is not rebellion. And, ending a relationship is not failure.

Parents must create environments where children can disagree without fear. Schools must prioritise emotional intelligence alongside academic achievement. Society must stop treating difficult conversations as taboo.

Parents must allow their children to make their own decisions. And, they also must educate kids to face the consequences of their decisions – good or bad – with integrity.

Young adults must understand a simple truth: No relationship problem, no family disagreement, no social embarrassment is ever worth a human life. You have absolutely no right to take another life!

The justice system must deliver justice to Ketan Aggarwal’s family and hold Siya Goyal, along with all other accused, accountable under the law. But, the Siya Goyal case, like many before it, should not end at the criminal investigation. For, such cases are a mirror held up to society. When someone finds it easier to kill than to say “no,” the tragedy is not just personal. It is societal.

And that should worry all of us.