A critical key to attaining satisfaction, bliss, contentment is getting over the entitlement trap — amusingly our constant companion and driver these days. We seem to jump at anything and everything with opinions, suggestions, beliefs, expectations.
Either my way or highway is the present mantra. Short fuses, high octaves, exploding emotions are the new order of the day. All this makes me feel inward coiled, small, contained, constrained, thus over time span, I become a regular visitor to the doctor who also needs to make money on my behalf.
Parting gracefully and fully – a challenge that most of us grapple with in the present era. We part be apart and the experience itself is horrendous, heart breaking and less than ordinary. Why? Let’s explore its myths and realities…
- Why don’t we simply let go things when they need to go?
- Why is clinging and holding up an integral part of me.
- Why is the obsession of proving one right and the other wrong?
- Why do view the world from my own colored lenses.
- Smiling and wishing the very best needs to be my companions – not comparisons, accusations, justifications. Just doing and being in it.
Nature showers its blessings on us, all through, yet only a few benefit from it, cause we lead our life like an inverted cup. Being an executive coach at Excalibre, my space is assisting people to leapfrog from bitter to better ones, from transactionary existence to leading a purposeful and exhilarating one across spectrum.
Must have had a meaningful and intense conversation with over 45,000+ accomplished beings, each of them being a unique personality. Interacting with them helped me to unlearn more than learn – it stirred me totally and in totality.
Had an opportunity to get connected with one such person 72 months back — through a social site. In the beginning, the conversations were limited to the tropical topics, yet a streak of intensity and purposefulness was evident in the individuality of this person.
This connect got better, brighter, yet in the recent past, we chose to part — for good. And I sincerely believe that if one needs to say good bye, it should be immediate. One need to choose not decide, take charge, take control, own with full responsibility.
Apparently everything was in order, fun frolic and meaningful conversations were happening on a continuum basis, yet why was the parting imperative. Why does one need to take hard decisions when going is steady? A dilemma that most of us face during our lifetimes.
Simply cannot choose when to say good bye- graciously, empathically.
Lingering on, catching on, when the value seems to be eroding is a poor man’s way of living. A partner needs to be watchful to the fact that his job is to be a catalyst in helping other to blossom better than him/her. Need to have the capacity to savour the success of the other.
And when the indication comes, simply move off — let the eagle in him soar, reach, touch heights never experienced before, conquer the summits that one was designed to conquer, explore the depths which one desired.
One never falls in love, one rises up in love. If you care and love someone ensure that the other is free from you, from your expectations. You simply are there, if required. And that’s what relating is all about. Reacting is accepting the other with full integrity.
Yet most of us, most times, most places simply can’t say good bye. Amusingly when forced the parting is mostly mired in frayed emotions, accusations. Why can’t simply one choose to fade away when his contribution is over?
It’s as difficult as it’s easy. Shouldn’t we part with a smile, over a cup of coffee, or savouring a candy, wishing each other the very best while committing to stand up for each other at the time of need.
Why is it that we fret, fume and throw up emotions? Parting is way of life and a reality. Accepting with grace helps me to be in focus and use my energies to be a better and not a bitter human.
How many times we have thanked our partner that he/ she cleaned up the mud that I unknowingly pasted on myself. Cleaned up the dirty stables I was holding to. Nature is abundantly clear — it sends people in our life with a purpose, it’s up to us to decipher that- nothing happens by default everything happens by design. To complete my incompleteness, nature provides me the resources.
Am I sensitive to this?
Am I blinded with my own perceptions, consequently immune to what the bigger picture is?
Let me share my key learning’s from this connect
- Helped me to discover the finer and subtle aspects of life – where sensitivity was the driver.
- Inspired me to have a special cause – pursue objective larger than life.
- Eliminated entitlement thinking
- Got rid myself of the busy mind
- Engaged in less picking and choosing.
- Keeping in mind that no decision is also a decision.
Remember circumstances don’t make a man, it reveals him to himself. Replace relationships with relating — simply be connected — add value and then gracefully fade out. Let others take that space — your role is limited to the act — you are a pie in the pizza, not the whole pizza. Smile, expand, exhilarate, enjoy — spread radiance wherever you are.
Nostalgic should be the description of the association, not accusations, blame games. Bloom wherever you are planted. Parting is inevitable, a reality — celebrate it, savour it, blossom in it, dance in it, its divinity personified.
Your call now folks!
The author is an executive coach and mentor, Excalibre