Rajkumari Sharma Tankha
Dear children, are you in constant conflict with your parents? Well, don’t be dejected. You are not alone. Almost all teenage children have conflicts with their parents, only the extent may vary. Conflicts are a part and parcel of parent-child relationship. The important point is to resolve conflicts as soon as they arise.
Just remember that your parents are your well-wishers and they love you unconditionally. What they have in mind is just your welfare, nothing else.
Though all parents, no matter what their socioeconomic level is or what religious belief they follow, have conflicts with their children on one or more matters, all of them want to have and maintain a good relationship with their children.
Parents have excess of love and they are always overly concerned about you.
The bond between a mother and the child begins as soon as she learns of a growing foetus in her womb. From this time onwards she is overly concerned about the health and well being of the child and is always worried about his/her safety. Ditto with the father. Parents literally obsess over their children and make all possible efforts to take care of their health, safety and survival.
When you were small you really enjoyed this constant attention, in fact you even got angry if you felt that they ignored you. Remember you have grown up, you have more friends now and varied interests and priorities, but for your parents, you are still the centre of their universe. They still love you as much and when you start spending less and less time with them, they get hurt. And conflicts arise. Now you know, what you have to do. Don’t you?
They put restrictions and limitations to safeguard you.
You want to explore the world and have no worries or safety concerns. You are right, your age makes you like that. But being older your parents want to discover and investigate everything on their own. When they give instructions don’t get agitated. Look at these as their love and concern for you.
What you can do is take them into confidence and share your thoughts with them. The more you are open with them, the more they will trust your decisions and the more freedom they will give you.
Assure them that you will keep yourself safe, even if away from their eyes, and they will cease to be restrictive. It is only your safety concern that makes them cagey.
Sometimes conflicts also occur when parents genuinely do not understand your point of view. At times like these, be patient with them. Explain things as candidly and truthfully, and there is no reason they won’t understand.
No matter what the cause behind disagreement is, parent-child conflicts are disheartening and stressful for both. The arguments and disagreements hurt each other’s feelings, so both should work towards resolving the conflicts to have a smooth relationship.