KANHA EXTENDS A HELPING HAND

Rajkumari Sharma Tankha

I have been wanting to go to Vrindavan for two years (since my mom crossed over to other realms on Jan 24, 2022). My mom’s demise had unsettled me greatly, and I thought spending some days at Vrindavan would bring me some peace and calm. But the programme could never materialise.

Then on November 01, 2024 my younger sister Upasana, called. “We are going to Vridnavan, do you want to come with us?” she asked. After toying with pros and cons, I decided to accompany her. I basically agreed to go since she was going to Vrindavan with two girls – one her daughter, and another one of our nieces (brother’s daughter. Also, Bhai was not well, I thought may be praying at Banke Bihari mandir will bring good health to Bhai).

So, I along with my elder daughter, Sukriti, decided to visit Vrindavan the next day. November 2 was a Saturday, and also the Goverdhan Pooja day. We knew Vrindavan would be crowded but went ahead nevertheless (One of the pujaris, Ankit Goswami, at Banke Bihari with whom we had a regular connect has always warned us against visiting on weekends as these are heavily crowded days). But we went ahead with the plan, nevertheless.

We reached Vrindavan around 12.30-45pm. There were lots of people but what we encountered in the lanes outside the Banke Bihari mandir was a swarm of people. There were hundreds of people jostling to move ahead towards the mandir. The police personnel failed to manage the huge crowd. And in that huge crowd were we – five of us, two of us women with three young girls.

Worried sick about the safety of our girls, we held their hands tightly. I had my daughter’s and my niece’s hand, her other hand was held my sister, who also had her own daughter’s hand. We were moving in a kind of chain, much to the chagrin of other people who continuously complained about our ‘chain’.

Then, the onward movement just stopped. We were told that Kanhaji was having his Bhog, so the doors have been closed and everyone has been halted.

That lane we were in was full of people, literally breathing down the necks of each other. The lane, bounded on both the sides with houses – their tall walls seemed extending till the sky – was choc-o-block with people. The whole atmosphere was nauseating. We were only breathing in carbon dioxide. I felt giddy and nauseated, thought I would faint any moment. I was worried for my daughter and my niece. What will happen if I fall down here. There would be ruckus, I would be mowed down in the stampede. My daughter was almost crying, while both the nieces kept a solemn, serious face. In my heart, I cried out loud to God, not Krishna but Bhagwan. Sahaayata karo Bhagwan, I said. And a few moments later, I felt a cool breeze – first on my face, then my middle body and then legs. It was a chilly wind, like that of an AC fan. The feeling of nausea started alleviating. I got to my senses, fully aware and told the girls not to worry. I asked my niece (my sister’s daughter) if she felt the cool breeze, she said yes. We looked around where was this cool air coming from? It was a narrow gali, walls on both the sides, packed with people. Why were other people still complaining of heat?

Just then the Bhog got over and people started jostling again. We were being pushed left and right.

I looked back to see my sister. She had got detached from the chain, and was with her daughter stuck in the crowd, when someone pulled her daughter back and both turned, and moved back. She later told me the man told her “There was no point in going ahead. Darshan nahi ho paayenge.”

Meanwhile, I held the hand of both my daughter and my brother’s daughter tightly and tried to move ahead, but was unable and felt utterly miserable, not sure of what will happen next when some lady in the crowd shouted “put your hand on the wall, and hold on to it.” I immediately followed her, and felt some support. My one hand was stuck on wall and the other holding two hands (girls). And then that lady said, “move ahead”. I was trying but couldn’t, I wanted to tell her. Just then I felt a strong muscular hand clasp my forearm, and pull me ahead. My hand got detached from the wall as I got pulled ahead, my daughter and niece got pulled along with me. I wanted to see who was the person holding and pulling me when I heard the woman shouting, “Don’t look up. Look below for any pit on the ground and keep moving ahead”. I followed her advice. Soon, we reached the end of the gali. Just then I felt my arm had been released, I looked up wanting to thank the person who had brought me here, but found no one. Perplexed, we moved towards the Gate Number 2, and had almost reached it when my niece said she wanted to buy a phoolmala for Banke Bihari. We stopped at a vendor. I was telling him to give the mala, when I saw another man at the gate vigorously calling “jaldi aa jao, jaldi aa jao. Pat band ho jaayenge.” Hurriedly taking the mala, we almost ran to the door, and as the three of us entered, the doors closed.

Inside was no respite from the crowd, it was as maddening as we had faced outside sometime back. But here, Ankit ji (the pujari) took care of us. He made sure we had the darshan, we even attended the aarti. It was the first time that I had such close darshan of the Banke Bihari. On first impulse I closed my eyes seeing him, but quickly opened and looked at him. I saw HIS large eyes wide open, and felt HE was looking at me! And HE looked mesmerizingly beautiful.

Back home, I recited the whole incident to my husband, an ardent Krishna devotee. I told him, “I don’t know who that unknown benefactor was, who pulled me ahead. Had he not done so, I don’t know what would have happened. Why did I obey that lady, and didn’t look up to see his face?”

And he said, “You still don’t understand? Really! HE was certainly Krishna? HE was the one who sent for you that cool air to relieve your nausea. HE pulled you inside the temple. You couldn’t have looked at HIS face. HE didn’t will that. That’s why you heard that lady shouting ‘don’t look up’. But HE looked at you from HIS throne. Such wide, open eyes that you saw, I haven’t ever.”

I was dumbstruck. Why did it not occur to me? Krishna called me – made my sister the medium. HE made sure I had the darshan despite all odds. And, my sister, who made the programme and took me, returned without even stepping inside the mandir.

The learning for me: From Jan 2022 till November 2024, there were many times when we planned to go to Vrindavan, but each time it was struck down as I wanted to stay there for a few days. I didn’t want to make a short one-day trip. So, this was Krishna’s way of telling me that things will happen as per HIS will not mine. If HE doesn’t want me to stay in Vrindavan for a few days, there is no way I can stay. HIS will.

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