Explaining the meaning of inner child, and how to heal it

Rajkumari Sharma Tankha

Moving around in spiritual groups, you must have heard the word Inner Child. Spiritual healers often talk about healing the Inner Child. I have seen healers telling novices that “your inner child is wounded. I can heal it”. What is meant by inner child? Well, Inner Child is your soul, the Hindi equivalent for it is Jeevatma.

Your Inner Child is the real you that lives within you. It is that part of your personality which stores all your memories, feelings, needs, and attitudes towards yourself and others. When we (as the Inner Adult or Higher Mind or Atma) are connected to our Inner Child, there is no ambiguity between what we feel inside and what we show to the world. In such a harmonious state, feelings of enthusiasm and excitement dominate our thoughts and we live an inspired life. You are not unduly worried about past or future but truly enjoy the present life you have.

The opposite happens when there is disconnect with the Inner Child (Jeevatma) and Atma. We feel tired, depressed, bored with life, and sick. Everything feels gloomy and sad and we don’t feel encouraged to try out new things. Therefore, it is so important that we stay connected to our Inner Child if we want to be happy and joyful.

When does your Inner Child need healing?

If you feel lost in life, depressed, unhappy, lack self-confidence, constantly critical of self and others, have low self-esteem, cannot trust others, have fits of anger and life doesn’t bring you joy anymore, then it’s time to nurture your inner child. And nurturing the inner child is what it means to heal the inner child.

Healing of the Inner Child cannot be done by any outside person, though a spiritual psychologist can surely help you do that. But, understand that this job is to be done by you and you alone.

Healing the Inner Child

The first and foremost thing in healing the Inner Child is accepting that it is broken. That you feel depressed, or demotivated. So, stop hiding what you feel on the inside with fake smiles and empty laughter.

Second, put all those things that hurt you, people who bother you on a piece of paper. Write down everything that you feel in the inside. Writing has a cathartic effect on feelings. You may burn the paper later or keep it aside for some days, may be to add revise and add more of what bothers you. DO THIS EXERCISE AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN.

Understand that whatever feelings you are getting are perfectly normal. You don’t become a bad person if you dislike someone or something. Keep in mind that the people you do not like are not bad per se, rather they are unlike you; they are different from you. And, it is okay to be different.

Feel your darkest thoughts and emotions daily. Accept all the negative parts of yourself. There is nothing wrong to have some clouds in your inner sky, they are part of your human experience too, so these are natural and even beautiful in their own ways.

The Inner Child gets wounded or is unhealed when your mind doesn’t allow your soul to express itself. There is no point in being ‘miss goody two shoes all the time’, and brushing all negative feelings under the carpet.

The Inner Child begins getting healed once you hear it and let it come out peacefully without judgment and battles and resistance to stop and fight with it. It is just like your child who will do all antics, even throw tantrums if you don’t pay attention to him/her, but once you hear him/her out, the child is pacified and returns to his/her normal happy self.

That’s how your soul or jeevatma behaves. Just like a child. Hence called Inner Child.