Normalising ‘Baap Ki Baapta’

Dr Sukriti Tankha

Yesterday I was doing my favourite past time of scrolling Insta reels when I came across one showing a child asking his dad if he remembers which class and section he is in before going to the PTM and the dad doesn’t remember. Then he asks his mom what his best friends’ names are and she remembers everyone, including which haircut each one had. Basically, the reel was showing how fathers are usually the absent ones and mothers the ever-present ones.

You all also must have seen some version of this content in different forms. I always find it weird because my father has never been like that. During my school years, he not only knew my class and section, the schedule of PTMs, my friends’ names, the food they liked etc but was also a hands-on dad, often pitching in when ma couldn’t take on some responsibility – happily, proudly and without an inch of ‘air’. Managing home and kids is equally my job, he would tell relatives if they ‘commented’.

Dad still does. I share everything with him as much as I do with ma. So, one night when we all were having dinner, we stumbled upon Single Papa on Netflix, and, instantly, we knew it was not something we would give a miss. More so, we all like Kunal Khemu, but I’m his fan! I know any project he is part of would have to be good – I have seen his Traffic Signal, Kalyug…

 Created by Neeraj Udhwani and Ishita Moitra and directed by Shashank Khaitan, Hitesh Kewalya and Neeraj, Single Papa initially stumbles but soon straightens up. It is humourous as well as sensitive, shows the bond of brother-sister love as also the deep friendship, the parental care disguised in anger as also the societal concern for orphaned kids.

 It is a little off-beat story, but I am not surprised. Khemu often picks up off-beat stories. And this one is a heart-warming dramedy. I feel everyone must watch this series.

Khemu plays Gaurav Gehlot (a jaat boy from Gurugram), a happy-go-lucky, spoilt-by-parents man, with a couldn’t-care-less attitude towards life. He is super rich, with loads of money, thanks to the wine shops his father owns. The silver lining – the man has a heart of gold, and he just cannot part with the infant some unknown mother abandoned in his car. The story is all about how GG (as he is called in the series) ‘moves the world’ to be a single papa to this boy – he calls him Amul, since he was placed in an Amul carton when GG found him in the back seat of his car.

No one, neither his parents (played by the very talented duo – Ayesha Raza and Manoj Pahwa) nor the head of the orphanage, Mrs Romila Nehra (played by Neha Dhupia) wants to give him the baby. The parents feel if he adopts the baby no girl will marry him – remember, he is already divorced from his first wife Aparna (played by Isha Talwar). While Mrs Nehra cannot give him the baby since the ‘baby needs female touch’ – a strange reason, but I guess this is the reason why single men face much difficulty in adoption as compared to women, in real life too! Shouldn’t be the case though.

The only support GG gets is from his sister Namrata (played by Prajakta Koli) and her fiancé Goldie (Ankur Rathee) and his best friend Pawan (played by Suhail Nayyar) and his wife Jasmine (Kamya Ahlawat).

The series is all about GG’s struggle to adopt the baby which makes you laugh sometimes, and cry at others – but never for once bores you. In the process, the story also shows his becoming a mature human being – from a spoilt man-child to a responsible father. The man who couldn’t even make his own tea is now seen staying up at night changing diapers, and finicking about hygiene.

What truly made me love the series and write this review is the fact that it showed a really different side of men, or should I say fathers and how they are often misjudged in society.
How can we say only mothers can be nurturing? Why not the fathers?
Why should only mothers make food, change diapers and stay up all night? Why not the dad too?
These internalised stereotypes are also part of years of oppression of women because it was always the woman who was supposed to stay at home take care of the children while the man was out on work and earn money. He was excused from all household chores because “oh he’s busy earning money for the family”. Doesn’t it trivialise the importance of bringing up kids and managing a home?

Today, when both partners contribute equally to the household, shouldn’t men be held equally responsible for household matters? Leaving even that aside, aren’t those his children, his responsibility too? Due to this, those who are genuinely amazing, present fathers get clubbed with the likes of the bad ones, and eventually fathers as a whole are seen as absent and indifferent. And, this is where Single Papa scores a point.

As a viewer, I not only rooted for GG and Amul, but also him fighting against everyone to prove that fathers are also equally capable of nurturing a baby, that they are as important in a child’s life as the mothers.

Its not just Khemu that did wonders in this series, the others fit the bill extremely well – From Manoj Pahwa to Prajakta Koli, from Ayesha Raza to Ankur Rathee, from Neha Dhupia to Isha Talwar – all acted their part perfectly. Even Murali Mali did justice to his brief role as the colony security guard. But my personal favourite has to be Suhail Nayyar – I knew him as an amazing actor, but here he bowled me over with his impeccable comic timing. There isn’t a single scene where he didn’t make his presence felt. Way to go, man! You were brilliant in Saare Jahan Se Accha: The Silent Guardians, and lovable in Single Papa.

To top it all, not once did Single Papa feel “preachy”. It was funny and emotional, heart-warming and heart-breaking – all at once. Above all it left me with a sense of hope – hope that the this generation’s children won’t grow up to make reels (or whatever the future AI alternative to reels there would be) showing dads being absent from their lives; hope that my generation would be the kind of dads that are always present for their children; and most importantly, hope that in future, the phrase baap ki baapta would be used as much as maa ki mamta is in today’s times.

Dr Sukriti Tankha is Dental Surgeon at Clove Dental