MOM-LOVE PERSONIFIED

Rajkumari Sharma Tankha

It has been a year since my mom, Krishna Chhibber Sharma, transitioned to the other world. She left us January 24, 2022, but it still feels so unreal. I cannot digest the fact that mom is no more in her physical form with me, that I cannot touch her, talk to her, see her. I miss the long chats –she called me daily at 10.30am, after her breakfast, and before I would get busy with my work day. And also at 6.30pm after she had her evening tea. That was the system we had worked out. This was our routine since 2011, when my dad moved out of physical plane. There was hardly a day when she didn’t make the 10.30am call, for she knew I used to get very uneasy if I didn’t speak to her and couldn’t concentrate on anything without listening to her voice.

It’s a year now, there has been no call from her… I long to get a call from her. She has left a huge void in me. Sometimes I wonder at myself – how can I keep on living even after mummy is gone. I never thought I would be able to live without her.

Mom was hit during the second wave of Covid, and while she recovered from the virus, it did impact her, particularly – she often complained about difficulty in walking. Her hip bone which was already compromised due to age, got impacted the most. It pained me deeply to see her in pain, and I fervently prayed to God for a miracle. But God didn’t listen to me. HE has his own ways. I was initially angry with God, but now I have made peace, thanks to my spiritual teacher Jaspal Soni sir who made me understand things I couldn’t fathom on my own. Today, I derive great peace in knowing that mom has moved to higher realms, and one day I too shall meet her in the other world.

Me and mom

So today, I remember her for all the love she gave us – me and my siblings, and our friends. There is not a single person who came into her aura and left without feeling the immense love she had on offer. I was so overwhelmed when each of my friends called me just to let me know how mummy made her/him feel. “I remember her serene and loving face,” said one. “I remember the love with which she treated us with homemade snacks when we visited you,” said another. With each comment, I got to know one more facet of my mom. Frankly, I never knew that such simple gestures of my mom touched them so much. But, these did deeply touch because these were so full of love.

I took her love for granted, she being my mom. All moms do that, I would think. Today, I know, not all moms are this loving, this open and this non-judgmental beings.

Mummy was all love, and this she proved even while leaving the physical plane. How? I will tell you: As far as I remember, whenever mom was unwell, I would get some message –telepathically, through dreams or bad omens. I feel this was her soul’s way of connecting with me. But this time, when she was so totally unwell and leaving the world, I did NOT get even one message. I was praying for her good health almost 24 hours a day and since I received no message, I felt God was answering my prayers. I had planned to visit her on January 26 to stay with her for some days. “I am sure, she will be up and talking after that,” my husband told me. I believed him, for, it had always happened so in the past.

But on January 24, 2022 around 11pm, I got the fateful call from my brother – for a few moments I couldn’t believe. How is this possible? I got no ‘message’. I was crestfallen, I didn’t even bid her a final goodbye. Why didn’t she connect with me? Was she angry with me that I hadn’t visited her? I felt guilty of not going to meet her earlier, and cursed myself. I was much disturbed. It was then Jaspal Soni sir shed a new light on the whole episode.

Sir: Do you know why your mom didn’t connect with you while leaving?
Me: I think she must be angry with me. I hadn’t gone to meet her.
Sir: No, beta. She knew seeing her going would be too painful for you. So, she took the higher ground and saved you by not connecting with you. That’s the amount of love she has for you. She is still watching over you. She will always. But you stop crying; your tears pain her, and hinder her onward journey.

That’s what my mom is, love personified. I think this life on earth she took only to give love and do service to mankind. She not only served her parents-in-law but relatives, even family friends. She was there to help who so ever needed her without any complaint. She always put her own needs and wants, her wishes and desires on the backburner, never ever asking for anything. “I don’t have to ask, God always gives me without asking,” she often said. Whenever I talked to her about tough situations I faced in my life – related to office, home, kids or finances – her staple reply was “don’t worry beta, everything is going to be fine. Bhagwan ko sabki chinta hai. Us pas chhod de. Vo sab theek karega.”

She took pride in the fact that all her daughters were working and financially independent, and often told me so: “It is very important for a woman to earn for herself. Life is unpredictable, who knows what is coming…”

My daughters Sukriti (back) & Ritisha with mom

I can never talk about her in past tense. I know she is with me. Not physically, but definitely energetically. But one thing that makes me sad is she will not be physically present when my daughter receives her BDS degree this year. I want Sukriti (my daughter) to become a doctor and join the Indian Army, mummy had told me. She was the happiest when Sukriti cleared the NEET exam. I wanted mom to be physically present in the hall when her granddaughter gets her degree. But…

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